Silly Short Story #6

 

HOW TO CROSS THE ROAD WITHOUT GETTING IN THE WAY OF SQUIRRELLS.

By Simon J Tatt

021008

Never wear red trousers or green shoes or a combination of orange and black, squirrels don’t like it. Be ever so careful not to get squashed by large objects either, this could cause pain and broken bits.

A large squirrel is not very nice to confront when angered and one should always consult a squirrologist if in any doubt as to its emotional state.

Please replace traffic cones if any tree borne rodents should fling them hither and thither in a fit of jealousy or anger.

London busses are not particularly good at avoiding grey squirrels. They are however very good at dodging the red variety and their close relatives the porcupine.

Elderly people are well known for dropping nuts and crusts and can quite often be seen to run very very fast when confronted by female squirrels who will often rudely hiss at the elderly if there are no nuts or if an older person hums any tunes that start with the letter Q.

A legendary American war hero once said that to confuse mankind one had only to confuse a squirrel. We believe he was referring to a rather bossy squirrel called Cedric who, back in 1887, had attempted to run for presidency ……… presidency then neatly side-stepped and the rest is history.

The End
DECLERATION
This Silly Short Story #6  entitled “How To Cross The Road Without Getting In The Way Of Squirrells”  is copyrighted to the author, Simon J Tatt. No persons may reproduce any part of the story in any way for the purposes of financial gain or for any other reasons without the express permission of Simon J Tatt. Law 6785/67 of the Intrinsic Writers Code of 2009 protects the above mentioned work and any infringement thereof will result in a fine of $20 000 and/or a jail term of between 5 and 7 years.

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~ by Simon Tatt on April 1, 2010.

One Response to “Silly Short Story #6”

  1. they’d make interesting pets! 😛

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